1.  You arrange to meet someone at 2pm and they don’t turn up until 4.15pm (and you can’t be bothered to get angry).

2.  Every other bar and restaurant sign in English that you pass contains a spelling or grammatical mistake.

3.  You have lived here for donkey’s years and you still don’t know how to pronounce Los Gigantes properly.

4.  You ask for workers’ prices when you order a drink at the bar (even though you’d NEVER dream of doing that in the UK).

5.  You stay in the outside lane of all roundabouts for fear of never being allowed to exit the roundabout from the inside lane.  Especially at Los Cristianos roundabout of death.

6.  You use the word ‘local’ (to refer to premises, office space, retail space etc) even if it’s the only word you know in Spanish.

7.  While driving on the motorway, you put on your indicator to show that you are slowing down even though you are clearly not going to turn right or left.

8.  You have lots of acquaintances here, but you haven’t quite managed to make any real friends.

9.  You went to see Elton John, just because he was doing a concert here, even though you would never have bothered splashing out on a ticket in the UK.

10.  You keep meaning to start Spanish lessons, but never quite get round to it.  Mañana, mañana…

11.  You’ve driven by the police station at 7:30am and seen 140 people already in line for their NIE number, thinking to yourself, ‘damn immigrants’.

12.  Somewhere along the line, ‘claro’ and ‘vale’ started rolling off the tongue. You use the word ‘ferreteria’ on a daily basis even though you have uttered the equivalent in English about 3 times in your life.

13.  You refer to the three types of police as, the leery guys in black, the gruas ones, and the other guys. You’re still not 100% sure what the last group do.

14.  You know the journey from home to work is 40 minutes. That’s 8 to get there, and 32 to park.

15.  You go back to Blighty and they’ve got better tans than you do.